Like most cats, Juniper has many names, and answers to none of them. We call her Junie, of course; Junifur, because it’s everywhere; Junipurr, which is really more conceptual, as it sounds exactly the same; Meow, for obvious reasons; Small Round Meow, which sounds like a William Carlos Willams poem, and Old Magoun Saloon-iper, though not very frequently. But her best and most-used names center around her rotund figure, and its similarity to a balloon. Matthew started it, I think, by dubbing her Ballooniper, which has led naturally to June-Balloon, Junie-Balloony, and mostly elegantly, just plain Balloon.
All this to explain why I’m so pained that I didn’t think of this. Brilliant! If we ever have an intervention for Miss Balloon about her weight, one of those will definitely be exhibit A.
This photo is unrelated, other than that it's of Juniper. Maybe she'd give us this look if we had an intervention?
If you’re not a pet owner, you probably stopped reading somewhere around “Small Round Meow”. If you are, don’t mind them, and tell me — what’s the most ridiculous thing you call your cat or dog?
March 24, 2009 at 12:24 am |
Awww. Those names are adorable. Charlie the dog gets called: Bud, Puppy, Puppy-pup (inspired by Laura), Pookie, Poopy, Four-by-Four, The Four Legged One, Little Man, Chuckles, Chuck, Little Head, Stinky, Butthead. There are probably even more than that. Those are less creative than yours though.
March 24, 2009 at 12:26 am |
We call Callie: Calamine, Calentine, Callie Pie, Kalamazoo, Calzone, Snuffles, Lovie, Lovie Dog, Callie O’Malley, Callie Brown, and probably a few more.
March 24, 2009 at 12:34 am |
For a long time I had a fish named Victor Herbert. (Yes, that Victor Herbert — http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Victor_Herbert .) I felt fairly certain that the name was ridiculous enough without diminutives, so mostly just called him “Victor Herbert.”
Also, you’ve got the patience of your readership all wrong: as not-a-cat-owner, I actually became more interested when I got to “Small Round Meow,” specifically because it sounded like a W.C.W. poem. Genius.
–COS
March 24, 2009 at 1:47 am |
We call Blynken lots of stupid names – Blynken Bear, Baby Biscuit, Baby Bear, Blinky Paws, Baby Bean, Bitsy Bear, Bitty Boy, Biscuit Bear, Sweet Bean, Taily-po, Puff, Little Guy, Mister Man, Blunken, Blinky, A. Blynken, Stinky Blinky… It goes on and on and we will never stop calling him silly things!
March 24, 2009 at 2:18 am |
A. Blynken! That’s amazing!
March 24, 2009 at 1:09 pm |
Oh, I forgot. Our neighbors call Callie “Jujube.”
March 24, 2009 at 3:24 pm |
The only thing we call Stripe is “candy striper”.
More interesting is that John Oliver, from the Daily Show calls his cat “Meow-garet Thatcher”
March 24, 2009 at 4:01 pm |
suggestions:
pantaloon-iper
AlToon-iper (for the 80s Jets fan)
DanielBoone-iper
GeorgeCloon-iper
March 24, 2009 at 4:09 pm |
TAILY PO!!!!@
I mostly call Rob things that she has: Fluff, Fuzz, Whiskers. Or things that she is: Whiney, Sad Kitten, Alone. Once I accidently called Scott “Fuzzy Kitten.” Marck is determined to one day name a cat “Caligula,” since it apparently means “Little Boots.”
March 24, 2009 at 4:25 pm |
We should ALL call Scott Fuzzy Kitten
March 24, 2009 at 4:50 pm |
Taily-po is the best one, because late at night when you least expect it Blynken will whirl around and shout “YOU HAVE IT!!” and turn the lights out and scream. My pet name for him is Nibbles, which comes out of an inherited obligation to call every cat a silly name that isn’t even vaguely related to his real one. And it’s just fun to call a cat a really stupid name, and the cat just stares at you, because he doesn’t even know.
Cartooniper? Clairdeluniper? Manonthemooniper? This is out of hand. If she develops a drooling problem, Monsooniper?
March 25, 2009 at 1:27 pm |
Micky couldn’t believe that I forgot a few nicknames.
Freckles (her middle name)
Freckie
Freckie Pie
Muffin Head
Pumpkin Head
Fluffernutter
April 4, 2009 at 5:34 am |
Moby gets called: Mobes, Mobius, Mayor McCheese (ginormus head!), Window Licker (’cause he’s a licker) and pup-pup